2008 Ex-EGM Awards: The Other Stuff
(Note: This is the fourth in a series of 2008 year-end awards as judged on by various ex-EGM editors…but unfortunately, not including those recently laid off because we started these before EGM’s untimely closing. Sadly, “Ex-EGM” has a different meaning now!)
Opening ceremonies + meet the judges
2008: Games of the Year
2008: Most Overshadowed Games of the Year
2008: Biggest Disappointments of the Year
2008: The Other Awards
2008: Hopes and Dreams for the New Year
2008: THE OTHER STUFF
(aka, the awards we made up on the fly)
Dan “Shoe” Hsu: 
Best Realization of the Pirates vs. Ninjas Fantasy: Age of Booty vs. Ninjatown
“A winner of this eternal struggle may never be declared, but these bite-sized strategy games did get to compete for my personal runner-up to the best strategy game of 2008 (which is PixelJunk Monsters). Who wins between these two legendary teams? Uh…it’s a tie….”
Worst Achievements of the Year: Gears of War 2’s “Crossed Swords” and Civilization Revolution’s “Here’s looking at you, kid”
“I can’t win a GOW2 multiplayer chainsaw duel for the life of me, so I’ll probably never get that achievement. And FUCK Civ’s ‘unlock all great persons’ achievement. I don’t think this randomized feat is possible!”
Crispin Boyer:
Game Show Game of the Year: The Price is Right
“Real products and finely rendered pricing games make this Wii game the closest thing to going on the show outside of Television City, but the lack of a virtual Bob Barker? Cue the Price is Right failure tuba.”
Game I Could Play All Year of the Year: Peggle Nights
“I’ll get around to writing something pithy about this hyper-addicting combo of pinball, pachinko, and Bust-a-Move, but first I gotta squeeze in just one more game.”
Andy Baran:
Most Effective Use of a Sack: LittleBigPlanet
“Whether you indulge yourself with all the latest costumes or construct elaborate adventures to share with players around the world — you’ll find yourself playing with your sack almost daily.”
Franchise Most Resembling a Beaten Horse: Mario Bros.
“Mario’s been milked to death in everything from soccer to baseball. In the dearth of true action platforming, players have been forced to endure games that become more shallow with each passing Nintendo console generation as the brilliance of company’s star fades.”
John Davison:
Hardest Game to Explain the Story to the Wife About: Metal Gear Solid 4
“I really tried to tell her what was going on, and she was genuinely interested, but I think I lost her around ‘Big Mama.’”
Joe Fielder:
Biggest Threat to Your Long Term Relationship: Civilization Revolution
“Morning bleeds into night when I play this game…. I sold my X360 copy because I was playing it too much…then bought it again on the PS3 last week.”
Joe Funk:
Best Spontaneous Gaming Shout-out From the Mainstream in 2008: Conan O’Brien
“Jason Sudakis (from SNL) telling Conan O’Brien how when we gets killed in Halo, his opponent squats over his body and performs the ‘teabag’ move.”
Best TV Commercial: Guitar Hero World Tour
“Hands down, Guitar Hero with Kobe, Tony Hawk, Michael Phelps and A-Rod. Most starpower we’ve seen in a commercial for any product in recent memory.”
Most Downloaded Gaming Commercial on YouTube: Guitar Hero World Tour
“The unedited Guitar Hero spot with Heidi Klum.”
Kraig Kujawa:
“No Duh” Award for a Game Subtitle: Call of Duty: World at War
Best Game Subtitle: Rocketmen: It Came From Uranus
“Yup, it was intentional.”
Demian Linn:
What the Hell is Going on With This Game and Where is it Award: APB
“Saw an incredible demo at the Game Developers Conference, but nothing since.”
Just Die Already Award: Phantom
“These guys just launched an online game store. I keep hoping that they’re just the most elaborate corporate hoax in history, and one day we’ll all laugh. Everyone knows Kevin Bacchus is a huge prankster.”
Hurry Up Already Award: Digital distribution
“Hey publishers, put all your games on Steam, lower the price to reflect the manufacturing and distribution savings, and tell the game retailers to shove it. What are they going to do? Push used games over new? Oh, they already do.”
Mega Boner Award: Microsoft
“For declining to create a Steam-like service when Valve suggested that they do so.”
John Ricciardi:
Best Worst Voice Acting Since the TurboGrafx: Chaos Wars
“I like it that you’re earnest, even though it’s kind of a half way.”
Kathleen Sanders:
Best Game Featuring Tentacles and Mildly Disturbing Imagery: Weapon of Choice
“This one was actually made from doodles that the creator did during high school. Only a brain mad with hormones could come up with some of this stuff.”
Best Game That Has Nothing at All to Do With Math and the Next Person Who Says That it has Anything Remotely to do With Math is Going to be Cuffed in the Balls: Sudoku
Avatar Most Resembling Me: Mine on Xbox 360
“Seriously, it is like they made it work just for me. Just add a unicorn and it would’ve been my Game of the Year!”
Greg Sewart:
Biggest Case of Deja Vu: Animal Crossing: City Folk
“Didn’t we play this on the DS and the GameCube?”
NASCAR Game of the Year: NASCAR 09
“I have to keep up appearances….”
Jeanne Kim Trais:
Game That is Best After a Night of Partying: Zuma
Jennifer Tsao:
Game You Wanna Hate But Can’t Help Loving: Boom Blox
“The way too darling characters and lack of Steven Spielberg’s signature vibe make this seemingly simple puzzle game completely annoying at first, but the superb multiplayer and realistic physics bring around even the staunchest Wii haters.”
Enemy of the Earth Award: Rock Band 2’s new instruments
“Yes they are rad, but in my opinion, this kind of planned obsolescence shouldn’t be legal. (Still love the game and all the massive amounts of downloadable content, though!)”
Game That Makes Ya Feel Dumb: Braid
Next up: Our hopes and dreams for 2009. And please feel free to put down your “other stuff” award choices in the comments below. We’d love to see what you come up with here.
