Will Podcast for Food: the Dennyscast
By Crispin
It seems damn near foolhardy to launch a podcast these days, what with excellent shows like Robert Ashley’s A Life Well Wasted competing for that sliver of a life meter we all have left on our earbud-ravaged tympanic membranes. So that’s why we’re not gonna call the following 50 or so minutes of low-calorie conversation over high-calorie foodstuffs a podcast. Uh-uh. No way.
Instead, welcome to the Dennyscast, a slice of Dan “Shoe” Shoe and Crispin Boyer’s thrilling post-EGM life recorded at what is inexplicably our favorite chain restaurant. First things first: Thanks so much for the donations that made this fine one-course meal at the overpriced downtown San Francisco Denny’s possible. Second things second: We apologize for the audio quality. No “wheels of steel,” our Dennyscast equipment consists of a digital recorder we slapped on the table. It picks up a lot of ambient chatter, Denny’s rad background tunes, and maybe even an EVP or two from the mysterious 69th circle of the diner netherworld.
With those warnings in mind, here’s what’s on the menu for our Dennyscast, which we’ve broken into two portions to make it more digestible than the food we ate. Note: You can either click on the imbedded players to listen now or right click on the titles to download the MP3 files for later consumption.
Dennyscast Part 1 (Running time 26:23)
Brought to you by Denny’s Wild West Fecal Greaseburger: Two pounds of cooking oil dripping with three ounces of assorted livestock meats, Denny’s signature hamburger sandwich is “serious as a heart attack,” says hotel heiress Paris Hilton.
Episode rundown*:
1) Hot ordering action!
2) Unfinished business: Stories we never got around to publishing in EGM.
3) Our job-interviewing process and the dreaded “games test.”
4) Shoe Heimlichs a choking pregnant lady in a nearby booth, delivers her baby.
5) A classic gag.
Dennyscast Part 2 (Running time 33:58)
Brought to you by Denny’s Pancake Puppies: Bite-size round pancakes rolled in a delicious blend of high-fructose corn syrup and silica gel, served with warm syrup for dippin’ and paint strippin’. Warning: Do not eat.
Episode rundown*:
1) Water refills on the house!
2) We compare a typical day at old-school EGM vs. modern-era EGM.
3) Ninjas have kidnapped Denny’s president. Can these two bad dudes save him?
4) Shoe gives some hints about his new enterprise.
5) Batman and Robin offer compliments to the chef.
* Dennyscast contents subject to change depending on MSG hallucinations/equipment malfunction.
To paraphrase young Anakin Skywalker from one of those shitty new Star Wars movies: Now that’s what I call podcasting! Maybe if we can scratch together enough cash, we’ll host another Dennyscast someday, this time at someplace real classy like Red Lobster. Thanks again for making this possible and sharing in our dining experience. If this episode gave you indigestion, our grandma recommends you go sit on the toilet until you feel better.
